the worst has gone by

i'm happy! even though i'm still sick like a baby, i'm still happy because the worst week has now passed. at least the head-banging worked. i banged my head not to the wall of course, but to the mattress. haha. because if i did bang my head against the wall, i wouldn't be writing this at this moment. i would either be in the hospital's trauma room or on the autopsy table being categorized as suicide by blunt-forced trauma to the head. haha. but nope, i ain't that crazy people. no matter how stressed i am, no matter how sick i am, and no matter how much i wish i wasn't born into this cruel world, i still wanna live my life as long as God give me the chance to. these are all tests to see how well we deal with them. we can either drown in it or swim across it. i decided in the very beginning to swim, and i'm still swimming because the end is still far and the journey is never-ending. throughout all these years, i'm hoping that the end is worthwhile and that every hardships, ups and downs, obstacles, etc. that i've been through will grant me the ultimate ending. a lot has been sacrificed. these sacrifices are for the sake of the future. my future as a human being, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, and soon-to-be wife (whenever that is), and of course after that as a mother (wondering when that will be). 

see, i am happy. hence i write a lot. about nonsense normally. haha. but glad i could type everything down here. let's hope this happiness last!

i'm sick! more depressed now

who knows that when you're experiencing severe head pain, it will result in you falling sick. headache itself won't cause such thing but when it combines with stress, too much sun and too much rain, you get sick. badly. it's not bad enough that i got a test tomorrow and then i have another big presentation this wednesday. falling sick is the worst that had happened to me in this god forsaken chaotic week! i can't fucking focus on my work! my throat's too damn sore that i can barely eat anything. my head ached every time i moved about. my entire body's in pain. not enough that i coughed hard, i sneezed also now. it's really hard to sneeze when you have a sore throat. it hurts! God, please give me the strength to finish my work and do everything else i'm supposed to do. i can barely open my eyes considering the fact that they feel like burning up. soo hot that i just wanna close them shut and take a nap. but have tonnes of work to do and i haven't ate lunch yet. but i'm not starving. maybe because being sick affect my appetite causing me to eat less than i usually do. 

i wish i could just stay in bed whenever fall sick like i used to when a kid. then mom would come up and made a soup for me. dad would stuck a thermometer in my mouth to get the readings then stashed medications next to me. i wanna be a kid again especially at times like these! 

hectic week invites headache

this is a hectic week! the most hectic in my entire college life. imagine that huh! seriously, if i get more stress than i already am right now, i could collapsed due to acute stress disorder (like there's such a thing, right! in my dictionary, there is). this is how stressed out i am.. 

note : this is not me. but this is my current condition.. almost every night. with the stupid headache. i feel like my head's about to pop or as if someone just hit me with tonnes of brick.

and this is how i should reduce my stress. 

see what i mean? hang in there! i wanna go to a place so far that i can forget all the problems and workload i have right now. somewhere like Alaska! or Rome or Spain!

but i only get to go to these places in my dream! 

Aidilfitri 2010 : 1st Part

This is the first ever part of our own 2010 Eid celebration! We kicked off our first day of eid in Kuantan Pahang. the house of my Mak Uda. hehe. just gonna upload a few random pictures from our Eid celebration in Kuantan. this is the morning of Hari Raya

so many food. love them. hate them. they were mine. haha

alert alert!! chickens in the kitchen! actually, behind my auntie's crib (haha) is a mini farm with goats, cows, chickens, ducks, etc

apologizing session : where we eventually ask for forgiveness from one another (once a year after all the piled up mistakes) haha. this part right here, a lot of people cried that morning. 

mom and dad in monochrome!

money-collecting session : haha, duit raya meh. even the big ones like me still got duit raya. hey, don't envy me, i'm still studying and i'm not married yet. haha!

family photo. still xcukup forum. there are only 3 families here. and there are another 4 out there somewhere. haha.if all of us are there that morning, i'm not sure we all can fit into my DSLR. haha there's just too many of us.

my little family in grey! next year is bright pink! haha

this is the first episode, i'll try to upload the next episode ASAP. don't wanna go back to USM!! it's gonna be a hectic week! and i am gonna feel so depress that i wanna get out of penang to get some peace! i will if depression takes toll on me~

the day before eid mubarak

we're in kuantan, pahang now. there are three families here. mine,pak cu's and pak uda's. the funny thing is today's break fast. although there are only three families, we ate like we owned our own bazar ramadhan. haha. seriously the way we lay the food on the table was as if we were about to open our very own bazar ramadhan, the entire table was covered from one end to the others' with FOOD!! nasi beriyani 24 pack, mee rojak 5 pack, laksam another 5 packs, with kuih, murtabak and a whole lot more. it was like a feast for 50 people. our numbers barely reached 30. haha. but everyone ate like they haven't eat in years.

see what i mean!!

every single one of us are monsters!! except for me.. haha

i am happy but my happiness was suddenly tarnished by an incident that made me changed my behavior all of a sudden. my suspicion was proven right. and i hate the fact that i'm right.

Carabao, what a great destination!

you might think of some exotic island with crystal clear water and coconut trees with white sandy beaches when you saw the word Carabao. but sorry guys, it's not a beach, it's not an island, and it definitely doesn't have coconut trees. it's a restaurant located in JB next to New York Hotel. it's a darn nice place to eat. the place might look exclusive and expensive from the outside, then again, do not judge a book by it's cover. the price is totally reasonable. although, it's not your typical warung. it's quite expensive than the usual dine in at local warung. but it's worth every penny. the food was marvelous! love it! went to break fast there with bunch of jr. high friends. didn't even know the place exists until my friends dragged me there. the place was cool. but it serves beer though. ah nvr mind that. 

mereka happy dikelilingi makanan!

chicken tom yam with coconut milk + ayam goreng pandan + kailan ikan masin

muke2 happy setelah kekenyangan!

overall i had fun. we laughed the entire night and i swear i almost died due to excess laughing. they're all crazy people talking crazy shits! haha.

they talk nonsense!

but the nonsense and craziness of these people made my day!

LOVE YOU GUYS!! 

raya shopping madness!!

yesterday i did jot down today's agenda which is to shop. we did shop. we shopped and we dropped! haha.. we went to Plaza Angsana. because angsana is the most visited, most sale, most everything! the entire building is stamped with big fat sales signs!! i bought a new pair of shoes that would go perfectly fine with my baju kurung. and i got a new spec also. just replaced the frame since my old lenses is perfectly fine.

my new shoe :

my sis new shoe :

personally, i think my sis's shoe looks nicer than mine.. haha but we're of the same size anyway. so i can wear hers and she can wear mine..

my new spectacle :

overall, i love how we spent our day today! 

THANKS FOR BEING OUR PRIMARY BANKER!! HEHE, AGAIN LOTS OF LOVE FOR MOM AND DAD!!

new raya handphone!!

mood : happy to be home

tomorrow's agenda : 1) shopping raya with family minus dad. he has to work.which will no doubt sucks since he's our primary bank. haha. sorry abah. 

2) repair my spec. actually have to buy new frame since broke my CK spec into two. ooops.. just need new frame. the lenses are still in perfect shape. 

3) the rest we'll have to see tomorrow. i don't need to shop really. dunno what to buy. have my baju raya already. don't think i need a new pair of shoes. last year's heel matches this year's baju kurung. maybe need to buy new selendang. grey color. we'll see tomorrow. 

i have a new phone! haha actually i wanted blackberry. dad put two types of phones in front of me the day i got back home from Penang. he put Sony Ericsson XPERIA X10 mini pro and a BlackBerry Curve. he told me to try out both to see which one i prefer. i always wanted a BB but it seemed BB doesn't suit me. it's too light. hence i chose xperia x10 with qwerty keyboard. it's cool!!

 I LOVE IT !! THANKS ABAH & MAMA ! IT'S AN EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT ! LOVE YOU GUYS !

a day before going home

can't wait for tomorrow. to take my flight back home to JB and just forget evrything for a few days. after that, back with the pile of assignments with darn painful headaches. just got the news we'll be spending hari raya in Kuantan and Kelantan. so JB, wait for me for a while k? i'll be raya-ing in JB in just a few days!


btw, thanks jawahir bawak kite jalan2 nek motor.. hehehe... sejuk dan mendamaikan hati yg sedang resah gelisah dan gundah gulana memikirkan masalah negara. 


selamat balik kampung semua! hopefully everyone will arrive safely at your destinations and get to spend a wonderful raya festival with families and friends!