Right now I am having a BRAINSTORMING session on my own. No one else. Which is driving me crazy since all the idea has to come from me. No one else to add on or debunk my opinion. This sucks. It makes me sleepy doing it on my own.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
A.S.S.U.M.P.T.I.O.N.S
You know what sucks? When one starts making assumptions about something you wrote on Facebook or tweeted. And the you starts making assumptions about that person's reactions. Then it will be strings of misunderstandings and you're caught in the middle of it. The power of assumption is destructive. Tension arises from it and it can ruin friendships built for years.
It gets a lot more worse when you're trying to fix it by being friendly as usual or perhaps pulling a pranks as you normally do. But your friend's reaction... she ignores you giving ambiguous answers. It is then you realized she's hurt by your statement even though it's not her you're talking about. You try not to care but then you just had to because she's your friend. But if it goes on like that for quite some time... I think everybody might get sick of it.
Why? Why would one care about the feelings of just one person and not the others. You tried. You tried to make things better but her attitudes just made that invisible line between you two even bigger. And do realized that your life does not revolve around that person. You have better things to attend to rather than just taking care of your friend's feelings.
I am pissed and tetiba rasa nak mengungkit. Not once have you celebrated my birthday in the past years! But i did yours almost every year. Maybe it's because whenever it is my birthday, we're always not together. But isn't that enough to prove our friendship? How can a simple misunderstood sentence ruin that? I should feel hurt the fact that I did not received even a slice of cake from you.... I might feel hurt this upcoming birthday of mine. But then again I don't care since birthdays are just dates to me and I hate celebrating them.
If you still decides to ignore me, I'll go back home this weekend. I just will not go out with. Might as well go and see my friend whom has the same birth month as me.
I am hurt by the way.
It gets a lot more worse when you're trying to fix it by being friendly as usual or perhaps pulling a pranks as you normally do. But your friend's reaction... she ignores you giving ambiguous answers. It is then you realized she's hurt by your statement even though it's not her you're talking about. You try not to care but then you just had to because she's your friend. But if it goes on like that for quite some time... I think everybody might get sick of it.
Why? Why would one care about the feelings of just one person and not the others. You tried. You tried to make things better but her attitudes just made that invisible line between you two even bigger. And do realized that your life does not revolve around that person. You have better things to attend to rather than just taking care of your friend's feelings.
I am pissed and tetiba rasa nak mengungkit. Not once have you celebrated my birthday in the past years! But i did yours almost every year. Maybe it's because whenever it is my birthday, we're always not together. But isn't that enough to prove our friendship? How can a simple misunderstood sentence ruin that? I should feel hurt the fact that I did not received even a slice of cake from you.... I might feel hurt this upcoming birthday of mine. But then again I don't care since birthdays are just dates to me and I hate celebrating them.
If you still decides to ignore me, I'll go back home this weekend. I just will not go out with. Might as well go and see my friend whom has the same birth month as me.
I am hurt by the way.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
malaysians and their 'lah'
haha. i was on the bus to go to KSL City and chatted with a Canadian tourist with his Filipino wife who were touring the Southeast Asian continent. i noticed how at the very end of most of my sentences i put 'lah'. guessed at times he was a bit confused. haha. it's our very own accent i guessed. Manglish. haha.
Monday, October 3, 2011
all these years...
5 years ago when my SPM result came out i was ecstatic. like really2 happy with my result. i thought since i got 9As i could fly halfway around the world for the purpose of studying. but i didn't. all my applications to study abroad got rejected by every single one of them. literally, all of it. i had to admit i was disappointed to the point where i thought i was stupid. i got jealous of my friends who get the one chance that i didn't get. i didn't understand why i was pushed aside. when i see some of my friends whose number of As are lower than mine but get offered to go abroad, it was like i fell to the very bottom of the earth. i thought it was unfair. i remember crying for hours as if it was the end of me. hatred consumed me that i began to hate some of them. but that feeling fade away as time passed by. by then my mind has been mold into thinking i was not good enough and all other negative thoughts conquered my head. and myself physically, spiritually, and mentally.
but i eventually enrolled into matriculation college with bunch of my school friends. i was happy there. but part of me still had all of those negative thinking. i didn't see why it happened or what God has planned for me. i failed to see the reason behind everything that has happened. but then i remember back in middle school i used to love Indiana Jones. Indy personally developed my interest in archaeology back then (even though now i know how Prof. Jones looks more like a grave robber than an archaeologist). when i applied to study abroad after SPM, it was in the field of agriculture. i began to redevelop my passion for archaeology and all stuff ancient. by the end of my second semester in college i had to choose whether to continue studying in Science or explore a new discipline which is Arts. i chose Arts. my parents were against it at first but in the end they let it go and let me create my own path. i chose USM (University of Science Malaysia). i decided to apply for Social Sciences.
and i got in. i majored in Anthropology and Sociology and minored in Archaeology. the sole reason why i wanted to enter USM so bad was because USM was the only university that offers archaeology course in Malaysia. i realized that if i apply scholarships to go abroad they won't let me take up archaeology. i prob had to take medicine or any other 'critical' disciplines. although a few weeks after i entered USM i got two offers to study abroad : Dentistry in Indonesia and TESL in New Zealand. well, i rejected both of them. not payback btw. it was because i already had my goal and what i wanted to do with my life. and USM has everything that i needed.
and now i've graduated from USM with a BA. in Social Sciences. and now i am currently writing my proposal for my masters degree in archaeology. and hopefully after two years i'll graduate with a masters degree.
now, everything's clear. why i got rejected. God has planned everything for me all along. good thing i didn't study abroad. because if i did, than i jz abandon my passion. which i'm glad i didn't. i regret crying like hell when i got rejected. i regret thinking i was stupid. i regret having all of those negative thoughts toward myself. if only i realized sooner that everything happens for a reason... it doesn't matter. i'm not jealous anymore. i did what i did because i love it and i know it's right for me. from a science student to and art student. well at least i get to explore both of it.
the one thing that i regret is the fact that this country values natural sciences and tend to put aside social sciences. there should be a balance between these two as they are both of equal important. i've learned a lot being a social science student. the knowledge that i've gained throughout 3 years as an undergrad is really valuable. it made me more aware of the social surroundings. it made me a more caring and better person. there ought to be more anthropologists, sociologists, political analysts, etc out there. social sciences esp anthropology and sociology needs to be a well-established discipline. my only regret is that it's not. in the Europe and US these field of study are not something they take lightly over. it's essential in the development of a country esp a developing nation like ours. i hope in the future it'll be on the same level and exist a balance between the two main discipline.
oh my. i haven't write in quite some times and all of a sudden i blurted out everything. well, moral of the story is don't look down on yourself and know that God always has a plan for you. as long as you work hard to achieve it, everything will be ok. i know i'm gonna be okay. InsyaAllah~
Monday, September 26, 2011
one of the most historical chapter of my life
me graduating from USM with a B.A. in Social Sciences (Anthropology & Sociology)
with my family.. very bluish~
with my bestie Jasmine Abdul Karim.. tahniah dear!
the beautiful Dewan Tuanku Syed Putra
Shahrul, Jasmine, Khairy, me, and Fedit! others went MIA
cupcake from Fedit. Thanks dear!
Jasmine, Muslihah, me, Aina(awat kejam mata?), and Jawahir
with my sis~
congratulations WAN NUR SYAZANA! all my friends! may we stay friends forever and i'm already missing you guys! sitting here in USM feeling all alone going crazy thinking about my masters. proposal needs to be done and tonnes of reading materials for me to go through! i seriously miss us all being together! do pray for my success as i pray for all of you to excel in world and also the next life!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
^___^
i've been dying to get myself a Samsung Galaxy S II. and yesterday my perhaps over-the-top wish was granted by none other than my beloved parents! XD i didn't think when i asked for it my dad would see to it but last night they were somehow extra nice and negotiable. anyways mom said it was a present and a symbol of thank you for finishing my degree without any problem and agreeing to continue with masters degree. i was like.. woww.. mom.. you think very highly of me and for that i am grateful and i'll make sure to make you guys be more proud of me in the future! and got myself a very passionate kiss on the cheek by my mom in the middle of Sutera Mall shopping centre.. haha..
my Kim Young Joo as my wallpaper..
thanks mom and dad! i will take extra care of this phone as much as i took care of myself! =))
Sunday, August 14, 2011
car boot sale & vintage
i would love to own these old school bicycles! soooo vintage~
this was taken at a Car Boot Sale in downtown JB.. they sold lots of seriously cheap stuff! who freakin' cares if they're secondhand.. i know i don't.. clothes from 5 to 20 bucks.. i freakin' love it! haha
they have lots of vintage stuff... lots of psychedelics! love 'em!
never knew JB held car boot sales from time to time... once a month.. i haven't explore my hometown as much as i explored Penang.. =(
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Monday, October 8, 2012
@___@
Right now I am having a BRAINSTORMING session on my own. No one else. Which is driving me crazy since all the idea has to come from me. No one else to add on or debunk my opinion. This sucks. It makes me sleepy doing it on my own.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
A.S.S.U.M.P.T.I.O.N.S
You know what sucks? When one starts making assumptions about something you wrote on Facebook or tweeted. And the you starts making assumptions about that person's reactions. Then it will be strings of misunderstandings and you're caught in the middle of it. The power of assumption is destructive. Tension arises from it and it can ruin friendships built for years.
It gets a lot more worse when you're trying to fix it by being friendly as usual or perhaps pulling a pranks as you normally do. But your friend's reaction... she ignores you giving ambiguous answers. It is then you realized she's hurt by your statement even though it's not her you're talking about. You try not to care but then you just had to because she's your friend. But if it goes on like that for quite some time... I think everybody might get sick of it.
Why? Why would one care about the feelings of just one person and not the others. You tried. You tried to make things better but her attitudes just made that invisible line between you two even bigger. And do realized that your life does not revolve around that person. You have better things to attend to rather than just taking care of your friend's feelings.
I am pissed and tetiba rasa nak mengungkit. Not once have you celebrated my birthday in the past years! But i did yours almost every year. Maybe it's because whenever it is my birthday, we're always not together. But isn't that enough to prove our friendship? How can a simple misunderstood sentence ruin that? I should feel hurt the fact that I did not received even a slice of cake from you.... I might feel hurt this upcoming birthday of mine. But then again I don't care since birthdays are just dates to me and I hate celebrating them.
If you still decides to ignore me, I'll go back home this weekend. I just will not go out with. Might as well go and see my friend whom has the same birth month as me.
I am hurt by the way.
It gets a lot more worse when you're trying to fix it by being friendly as usual or perhaps pulling a pranks as you normally do. But your friend's reaction... she ignores you giving ambiguous answers. It is then you realized she's hurt by your statement even though it's not her you're talking about. You try not to care but then you just had to because she's your friend. But if it goes on like that for quite some time... I think everybody might get sick of it.
Why? Why would one care about the feelings of just one person and not the others. You tried. You tried to make things better but her attitudes just made that invisible line between you two even bigger. And do realized that your life does not revolve around that person. You have better things to attend to rather than just taking care of your friend's feelings.
I am pissed and tetiba rasa nak mengungkit. Not once have you celebrated my birthday in the past years! But i did yours almost every year. Maybe it's because whenever it is my birthday, we're always not together. But isn't that enough to prove our friendship? How can a simple misunderstood sentence ruin that? I should feel hurt the fact that I did not received even a slice of cake from you.... I might feel hurt this upcoming birthday of mine. But then again I don't care since birthdays are just dates to me and I hate celebrating them.
If you still decides to ignore me, I'll go back home this weekend. I just will not go out with. Might as well go and see my friend whom has the same birth month as me.
I am hurt by the way.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
malaysians and their 'lah'
haha. i was on the bus to go to KSL City and chatted with a Canadian tourist with his Filipino wife who were touring the Southeast Asian continent. i noticed how at the very end of most of my sentences i put 'lah'. guessed at times he was a bit confused. haha. it's our very own accent i guessed. Manglish. haha.
Monday, October 3, 2011
all these years...
5 years ago when my SPM result came out i was ecstatic. like really2 happy with my result. i thought since i got 9As i could fly halfway around the world for the purpose of studying. but i didn't. all my applications to study abroad got rejected by every single one of them. literally, all of it. i had to admit i was disappointed to the point where i thought i was stupid. i got jealous of my friends who get the one chance that i didn't get. i didn't understand why i was pushed aside. when i see some of my friends whose number of As are lower than mine but get offered to go abroad, it was like i fell to the very bottom of the earth. i thought it was unfair. i remember crying for hours as if it was the end of me. hatred consumed me that i began to hate some of them. but that feeling fade away as time passed by. by then my mind has been mold into thinking i was not good enough and all other negative thoughts conquered my head. and myself physically, spiritually, and mentally.
but i eventually enrolled into matriculation college with bunch of my school friends. i was happy there. but part of me still had all of those negative thinking. i didn't see why it happened or what God has planned for me. i failed to see the reason behind everything that has happened. but then i remember back in middle school i used to love Indiana Jones. Indy personally developed my interest in archaeology back then (even though now i know how Prof. Jones looks more like a grave robber than an archaeologist). when i applied to study abroad after SPM, it was in the field of agriculture. i began to redevelop my passion for archaeology and all stuff ancient. by the end of my second semester in college i had to choose whether to continue studying in Science or explore a new discipline which is Arts. i chose Arts. my parents were against it at first but in the end they let it go and let me create my own path. i chose USM (University of Science Malaysia). i decided to apply for Social Sciences.
and i got in. i majored in Anthropology and Sociology and minored in Archaeology. the sole reason why i wanted to enter USM so bad was because USM was the only university that offers archaeology course in Malaysia. i realized that if i apply scholarships to go abroad they won't let me take up archaeology. i prob had to take medicine or any other 'critical' disciplines. although a few weeks after i entered USM i got two offers to study abroad : Dentistry in Indonesia and TESL in New Zealand. well, i rejected both of them. not payback btw. it was because i already had my goal and what i wanted to do with my life. and USM has everything that i needed.
and now i've graduated from USM with a BA. in Social Sciences. and now i am currently writing my proposal for my masters degree in archaeology. and hopefully after two years i'll graduate with a masters degree.
now, everything's clear. why i got rejected. God has planned everything for me all along. good thing i didn't study abroad. because if i did, than i jz abandon my passion. which i'm glad i didn't. i regret crying like hell when i got rejected. i regret thinking i was stupid. i regret having all of those negative thoughts toward myself. if only i realized sooner that everything happens for a reason... it doesn't matter. i'm not jealous anymore. i did what i did because i love it and i know it's right for me. from a science student to and art student. well at least i get to explore both of it.
the one thing that i regret is the fact that this country values natural sciences and tend to put aside social sciences. there should be a balance between these two as they are both of equal important. i've learned a lot being a social science student. the knowledge that i've gained throughout 3 years as an undergrad is really valuable. it made me more aware of the social surroundings. it made me a more caring and better person. there ought to be more anthropologists, sociologists, political analysts, etc out there. social sciences esp anthropology and sociology needs to be a well-established discipline. my only regret is that it's not. in the Europe and US these field of study are not something they take lightly over. it's essential in the development of a country esp a developing nation like ours. i hope in the future it'll be on the same level and exist a balance between the two main discipline.
oh my. i haven't write in quite some times and all of a sudden i blurted out everything. well, moral of the story is don't look down on yourself and know that God always has a plan for you. as long as you work hard to achieve it, everything will be ok. i know i'm gonna be okay. InsyaAllah~
Monday, September 26, 2011
one of the most historical chapter of my life
me graduating from USM with a B.A. in Social Sciences (Anthropology & Sociology)
with my family.. very bluish~
with my bestie Jasmine Abdul Karim.. tahniah dear!
the beautiful Dewan Tuanku Syed Putra
Shahrul, Jasmine, Khairy, me, and Fedit! others went MIA
cupcake from Fedit. Thanks dear!
Jasmine, Muslihah, me, Aina(awat kejam mata?), and Jawahir
with my sis~
congratulations WAN NUR SYAZANA! all my friends! may we stay friends forever and i'm already missing you guys! sitting here in USM feeling all alone going crazy thinking about my masters. proposal needs to be done and tonnes of reading materials for me to go through! i seriously miss us all being together! do pray for my success as i pray for all of you to excel in world and also the next life!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
^___^
i've been dying to get myself a Samsung Galaxy S II. and yesterday my perhaps over-the-top wish was granted by none other than my beloved parents! XD i didn't think when i asked for it my dad would see to it but last night they were somehow extra nice and negotiable. anyways mom said it was a present and a symbol of thank you for finishing my degree without any problem and agreeing to continue with masters degree. i was like.. woww.. mom.. you think very highly of me and for that i am grateful and i'll make sure to make you guys be more proud of me in the future! and got myself a very passionate kiss on the cheek by my mom in the middle of Sutera Mall shopping centre.. haha..
my Kim Young Joo as my wallpaper..
thanks mom and dad! i will take extra care of this phone as much as i took care of myself! =))
Sunday, August 14, 2011
car boot sale & vintage
i would love to own these old school bicycles! soooo vintage~
this was taken at a Car Boot Sale in downtown JB.. they sold lots of seriously cheap stuff! who freakin' cares if they're secondhand.. i know i don't.. clothes from 5 to 20 bucks.. i freakin' love it! haha
they have lots of vintage stuff... lots of psychedelics! love 'em!
never knew JB held car boot sales from time to time... once a month.. i haven't explore my hometown as much as i explored Penang.. =(
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