no more tears to shed

just had a fight on the phone with my mum

not exactly a fight

more like she was pissed and babbled at me

i was quiet most of the time throughout the conversation

i did however talk back at her

which i'm not proud of

the conversation left me crying

even when she started saying this and that

what i should've done

and so on

tears were rolling down my cheeks

somehow i think she's disappointed in me

i was so sad that i cried in silence

i'm sorry mum,

i didn't mean all of those that i said

i was pissed and couldn't think straight

i know at times i can be a real pain in the ass

when i want something badly

i'll do whatever it takes to get it

sometimes my goals do not justify my means

but you know me

you know how i tend to get caught up in things that i myself don't even understand

i was quiet most of the time because i didn't wanna say anything that i'll regret

hurting you hurts me

and i'm truly, deeply sorry

 i just want what i think best for me and not a burden to you

i want it because it didn't cost as much as what you wanted me to do

i know you guys have been having problems

but please understand that i am not trying to cause you more problems

this past few weeks we've been getting into arguments quite a number of times

and i feel guilty

for making you mad at me and perhaps cry over me

my tears have dried

i no longer have any left to shed

mum,

i'm sorry for what i've done

i didn't mean to hurt your feelings

and

i love you sooooo muchhhh !!!