the worst has gone by

i'm happy! even though i'm still sick like a baby, i'm still happy because the worst week has now passed. at least the head-banging worked. i banged my head not to the wall of course, but to the mattress. haha. because if i did bang my head against the wall, i wouldn't be writing this at this moment. i would either be in the hospital's trauma room or on the autopsy table being categorized as suicide by blunt-forced trauma to the head. haha. but nope, i ain't that crazy people. no matter how stressed i am, no matter how sick i am, and no matter how much i wish i wasn't born into this cruel world, i still wanna live my life as long as God give me the chance to. these are all tests to see how well we deal with them. we can either drown in it or swim across it. i decided in the very beginning to swim, and i'm still swimming because the end is still far and the journey is never-ending. throughout all these years, i'm hoping that the end is worthwhile and that every hardships, ups and downs, obstacles, etc. that i've been through will grant me the ultimate ending. a lot has been sacrificed. these sacrifices are for the sake of the future. my future as a human being, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, and soon-to-be wife (whenever that is), and of course after that as a mother (wondering when that will be). 

see, i am happy. hence i write a lot. about nonsense normally. haha. but glad i could type everything down here. let's hope this happiness last!